fate.

i've always believed in fate destiny and what not. it seems as though mine isnt going anywhere. i mean, where am i going to end up? who will i be with? sometimes i believe matt and i arent going anywhere. hes in the marines, im still a student. we both have different plans. can i handle a long distance relationship? is this what i need? is it worth it? im scared in the midst of all of this he will just disappear, in clear space. and all i have left are memories that will haunt me. dreams that i wish would come true, and left with a weakened heart. this is why i have so much doubt in the relationship. its hard not to think about it, its hard not to doubt when hes not here to ask. i miss him so much. ah, it hurts to know i cant have him. maybe we shouldnt be together, maybe we both need to live our own lives. maybe fate will bring us back together.


SO TELL ME WHAT AM I HOLDING ON TO??? WHY AM I STILL FUCKING HERE! i cant do this anymore.