and yet heres why.. or not.

oct 9th is when i first met him, kissed him, and started to like him. i dont know why i do, theres just something about him that i can't help. nov 28th, remember that, its my anniversary date, lets see how long this will last. probably the 2 dates that i won't forget.

so why? i realized even if i were with or werent with him i would still be sad when he left. i want to be happy and thats why im with him. however, is this supposed happiness worth it. why do i feel like he doesn't like me or even care about me? why does he just walk away or stare at me. why cant he just be with me? and that very question is what i want him to answer, not dex. hah i couldn't help myself when i said it aloud. i need to know. i don't plan on getting hurt a month from now, or in a couple days. on the 14th i plan on moving back home, and our relationship is going to depend on communication. communication we now lack. i do not know what is going to happen a week from now. why cant he just open up to me and be my boyfriend. why can't he just care for me. why does he have to hide everything hes feeling. why does he have to be exactly like me?


i dont think this is happiness. its definately not love. so why am i giving up everything for him? i have so many questions and not a single answer.