oh how life can change.

i've lived in san jose for about a month now and im truly loving my life and sometimes missing my old. partying every weekend, drinking till vomiting is necessary, and hooking up with anyone in sight has become my life. i can't even believe im admitting this. when its down on paper its strange to think that this is what has been happening. my reason? i dont know. maybe its because i have so much freedom that i've never had before. that i've never partied in high school, cause im lonely and need to feel intimate with someone. i want to stop, and take it down a few notches. i dont want to be one of those girls who only parties. i want to have respect and i want to get somewhere in life. i want to have fun and party but i also want to take care of my priorities. ahh school. the work keeps on coming on a nonstop train. my only break is the weekend and how i wish my they were longer. my weekdays are bitter and hatred toward school. i hate being bombarded with work and the pressure of my grades every day, every class. i dont even know if i want to keep my biology major. i need to step up and do this. school; college. its just so different. i truly love hanging out with my friends back at home. yes and im going to say they are the loves of my life. they know me. they can make me laugh unbearably. i miss it. i miss being understood. i guess i just have to deal with it. its a love hate situation. speaking of love, i really need someone in that department. okie enough. bye


ps. i need to stop getting stoned.