happiness.

i dont know what happiness is anymore. one moment ive never happier, satisfied. and one moment nothing seems to even bring a grin to my face. i dont know what i want anymore, and everything that i already have just doesnt make me happy. all of a sudden this time of year is just still the hardest time. i dont care about him anymore, but i cant get over how much it hurt. everything he did still hurts. i dont want it anymore. i dont want that to happen to me again. now that time is getting closer i dont want to feel alone again. i may seem like a brat but for the past 2 days i feel like its taken me back to that place. to where ive was so lonely, that no one wanted me. i cant do it again. i dont want to be stuck in that same place and be that same person. i guess he did this to me and i guess this is what i meant when i said i would never forget him. because he gave me a deep scar that i will never forget.

and when you kno things are done and over with, then its just done.